Did you blow it? Worried your perfect relationship is over for good?
I’ve got good news–getting your ex back is definitely possible…just not the way you think. In this video I’m going to tell you why begging and pleading only drives your ex further away and what you should do instead to make them change their mind and come back to you.
How To Change Your Ex’s Mind
They call me Breakup Brad because I’ve been studying the psychology behind breakups for over ten years now. So, if you are hoping to get a second chance with your ex, and you want them to fall head over heels for you and beg to have you back… keep watching this video all the way to the end.
So why exactly don’t begging and pleading work?
If you think about it for a second, you’ll understand why.
First, when you beg and plead you’re coming across as weak, pathetic, and needy.
No matter what reason your ex gave for breaking up with you, these traits aren’t attractive and will only reinforce their decision to break up with you.
Second, you’re wasting an opportunity.
Chances are, after breaking up, your interactions with your ex are limited. You’re not talking every day like you used to. This means that every time you have a conversation you have the opportunity to rekindle positive feelings in your ex about you and about the relationship.
Begging and pleading is not positive–it’s actually confrontational. You’re forcing them to say “no” to you and you’re building a negative association in their brain so that every time they see a text or phone call from you, they’re filled with dread rather than excitement and happiness.
Should You Apologize To Your Ex?
I get this question pretty much every day. Should you apologize to your ex if you want them back? The answer is almost always no. There are some exceptions here.
If the breakup was due to a huge error on your part like cheating or lying, or if you said some really negative things to your ex during the breakup then an apology may be warranted.
Just be aware that an apology is doing the exact opposite of what we want to do when trying to win back an ex…which is to leave the past in the past and move forward. Apologizing means living in the past, bringing up old pain and reminding your ex of the reasons that they dumped you in the first place.
So if you’re going to apologize to your ex, make sure that it’s absolutely necessary. Otherwise it does more harm than good.
How To Re-Attract Your Ex
The truth is, the only proven way to re-attract your ex is to put the breakup behind you, build new positive associations and make them excited every time they see you or even think about you.
That, as always, begins with No Contact. If you’re reading this, you know that keeping your distance from your ex for at least 30 days following the breakup is key to winning them back. This allows them some time and space to miss you and it causes the negative feelings that come with any breakup to fade away.
No Contact on its own is not going to work, especially if your ex is particularly stubborn or upset at how the break up went down.
If that’s the case, you need to take action to actually change your ex’s mind if you want to win them back. We already talked about how apologizing, begging and pleading don’t work. So what can you do if you can’t convince your ex to come back?
1. Be Your Best Self.
If your breakup was particularly bad then I’d bet that your ex’s opinion of you is pretty negative right now. It’s going to take action, not words, to improve their impression of you.
This means you need to take tangible action in the real world to improve your life and work towards your goals.
What action you take will depend on your own particular goals. It could be taking initiative at work, signing up for a gym membership or learning to play guitar. Whatever it is, do it for yourself and don’t worry about letting your ex know that you’re taking these steps.
The truth is that it doesn’t even matter if your ex even knows that you’re working to improve your life. What they’re going to respond to is the confidence that comes with improvement.
If you’re really making strides, your self image and confidence will sky rocket and your ex will be shocked at the transformation. They’ll be wondering what happened to that pathetic and weak person they dumped and pretty soon they’ll realize that they misjudged you and made a huge mistake by breaking it off.
My next piece of advice is about how to deal with your ex after No Contact.
2. Be Above It
If you’re looking for a specific text message to send or a way to reach out to your ex after No Contact, you can find plenty of videos like that on my channel. In this video I’m focusing on something else–your mindset.
Here’s the mindset you need to employ when dealing with your ex…
I’m Above It.
Being above it means being carefree, not letting negativity drag you down, worrying about your own happiness first, and keeping all communication light and breezy.
Basically you need to talk to them the same way you did when you two first met. You also want to be flirty and fun to keep them on their toes.
If they want to get heavy and discuss the breakup or even try to pick a fight, do your best to change the subject and avoid getting pulled into conflict.
If you’ve begged and pleaded in the past, your ex is going to be surprised by this change and it will make them miss you, naturally.
Show them the emotional maturity you’ve gained during your time apart. It can be a difficult needle to thread, as I’m sure you’re still feeling quite emotional about the breakup, but if you can keep this mindset it really will maximize your chances of changing your ex’s mind and, in time, make them beg for you to come back.
3. Get Expert Help
And my final piece of advice? You need to check out my free video presentation. This video will give you some much needed advice about navigating a breakup and winning back your ex.
It only takes five minutes and will improve your mindset and your chances, guaranteed.
Good luck on your difficult journey to win back your ex and make them fall in love with you all over again.