The No Contact Method is still the best way to get your ex back, and I’ll tell you why.
Hi, I’m Brad Browning, creator of the Ex Factor Guide. I’m going to dive deep on the mechanism behind the No Contact Method and tell you how you can use it to win back your ex starting right now.
I’ll use real world examples of relationships that were saved by the No Contact Method.
What is No Contact? No Contact means keeping your distance from your ex immediately after the breakup for at least thirty days…no text messages, no phone calls, no in person hangouts. It seems counterintuitive to most people but it really works.
There Are Two Reasons No Contact Makes Your Ex Miss You
How can you get your ex back if you never talk to them?
Let me explain just exactly why the No Contact Method should always be the first step you take if you want to win your ex back for good. Here’s how it works.
1. Absence
No Contact lets your ex see what their life truly is like without you. Instead of slowly fading from their life or being pushed out, you’ve severed contact completely and left them to truly feel the absence.
The longer you two have been together, the more effective this principle will be. Here’s a real world example:
Case Study Leigh and Kevin
Leigh and Kevin had been together for three years and things were starting to get serious. They decided to go on vacation together for the first time–a road trip through the american southwest. The trip was supposed to last two weeks.
The first day in the car was peaceful… they watched the landscape change from mountain to desert and talked about their future together.
The second day, things were more tense. They couldn’t agree on what music to listen to and they fought about who would drive.
By day three, the trip was in full meltdown. The car was filled with an icy silence that spoke volumes about their relationship.
That night Kevin told Leigh that he just couldn’t do this anymore. He was done with this trip and he was done with their relationship. After some more fighting and name calling, Jason purchased a ticket and flew home the next morning. Leigh was crushed. How did their special trip turn into the end of what had been the best relationship of her life?
Don’t worry, it’s what happens next that changed everything. Instead of going home, Leigh kept going. She drove straight on through Arizona and into New Mexico.
When she made it to Carlsbad Caverns, the texts started pouring in. At first it was just to let Leigh know that he had made it home. Then he wanted to talk. He said he just wanted to hear her voice.
And what did Leigh do? She turned off her phone and continued on with her trip. She saw the Grand Canyon and then Salt Lake. When she pulled into her driveway at the end of the two weeks, she felt rested, refreshed and guess what? Kevin was waiting there with a bouquet of lilies, her favourite flower.
So what exactly happened? How did Leigh completely win Kevin back simply by ignoring him? Kevin explained that when he returned home without Leigh, his life felt so empty. Everywhere he went, everything he did, it all reminded him of her.
Every time he texted her and she didn’t respond, he felt so alone. He soon realized what his life was like without Leigh in it and he knew that he couldn’t live without her.
Thanks to this wakeup call, Kevin and Leigh were able to work through their issues and I’m happy to report that they recently celebrated two years of marriage.
This is the principle of absence in action. It was one thing for Kevin to want space from Leigh, it was another for him to actually see it play out. He was forced to really understand what their breakup would mean for his life going forward, and he didn’t like it.
Now let’s imagine if, instead of following the No Contact Method, Leigh had returned home with Kevin and spent that time arguing or trying to convince him to take her back, things would have turned out quite differently.
Kevin would never have come to appreciate all the good that Leigh had brought to his life. Instead he would have spent his time building new, negative memories of their time together, and they would have both ended up alone.
RELATED: Using The No Contact Strategy To Get Your Ex Back
Now we’re going to talk about another way that No Contact works. This is information that I’ve never shared on youtube so keep watching if you want the inside scoop on the second powerful mechanism behind No Contact. I call it denial of closure.
2. Denial of closure
Every time you contact your ex after your breakup, you’re giving them the chance at closure. Closure is that moment when you finally close the book on a relationship and begin moving on.
You may think that your constant text messages, begging and pleading is preventing them from moving on but it’s actually having the opposite effect. Every time you reach out post-breakup, you’re giving them another chance to say “no” to you and put the relationship behind them.
By refusing to engage with your ex, you’re denying them this closure, meaning the relationship is still ongoing in their subconscious mind. This lack of closure is one of the things that will draw your ex back like a magnet.
Don’t believe me? Here’s the true story of Colin and Kim.
Case Study Colin and Kim
Colin was one of my clients way back when I first became a breakup coach. He had been with his girlfriend Kim for six years and one day he came home to find her packing her bags.
She said that things just weren’t working out and she was going to go stay with her parents for awhile until she could make plans to move out on her own. Colin couldn’t believe it. He begged her to stay and try to work things out but her mind was made up.
After she was gone, he called her every day for a week and left long, rambling messages for her and got back nothing. He sent flowers to her work and even a singing telegram. When Colin was out of ideas, he came across one of my videos here on Youtube. He signed up for my one-on-one email coaching service and we got to talking.
When I told him that he needed to completely change his approach, he was dumbfounded. I said if you really want Kim back, stop calling, stop texting, and go on with your life. He said I was crazy but he was out of options so he followed my no contact method.
A week passed, then another. He contacted me several times, telling me that he just wanted to call her once, just to hear her voice. I said no, if you want Kim back you need to be strong.
Wouldn’t you know it, after two more weeks of no contact, Kim showed up at his door with tears in her eyes. She said that she had made a huge mistake in ending things and she wanted him back.
She said that she felt like she had an itch that she couldn’t scratch, that no matter how she tried to forget about Colin and move on, she just couldn’t do it. That itch she felt, is the lack of closure that the no contact method creates.
By denying her that closure, Colin guaranteed that she wouldn’t be able to just forget about the relationship and move on and ultimately that’s what brought her back to him in the end.
