Reading a woman’s mind can feel like the equivalent to diffusing a bomb, underwater, in the dark, and behind your back. If you have recently been dumped, and you are unsure of how to read the mixed messages your ex is sending you, you can chill out. I’ve collected some intel on how to decipher whether or not your ex- girlfriend wants to get back together with you or not.
What makes me so sure that I am the guy to help you? Excellent question, and it is because I have spent over a decade helping men and women reunite with their exes. And this process starts with understanding your ex’s signs and, in this case, the female mind. Understanding these subtle or not so subtle cues will tell you if she is “jonesing” to get back together or just feeling lonely.
It is important to note that the more signs she exhibits, the better. Every relationship is different, and each one ends for numerous reasons, but when you’re trying to decode your ex’s signs, try to look for as many signs as possible so you don’t fear rejection, again, or just fall into a trap of a girl who is lonely and reaching for a lifeline.
So, without further ado, here’s how to tell if your ex-girlfriend wants to get back together:
If She’s Talking to You:
One of the ways to tell if your ex is sending you a get-back-together signal is if she still contacts you after the breakup—even if it is for silly reasons. For example, she could just text to remind you of a fond memory you two shared. This is similar to one of the tips I provide in my Ex Factor Guide Program.
The Ex Factor Guide suggests that if you want to get back together with your ex, a way to remind them of fond memories of the two of you is to ask them if they remember how to get to a certain place. For example, ask them for directions to this private beach you two once found or the name of a restaurant you stumbled upon and ended up having a great time.
So if she is sending you messages about a fond memory, she is trying to implant a good thought about herself in your head. Making it an easier transition to get back together, rather than it being out of the blue.
It is also important to note that if she is the one initiating contact over any social platform, that generally means she’s interested in trying things again.
In degrees of how serious she is to get back together, in terms of communication, starting from the lowest to highest signal that she wants you back is email, Facebook, text, phone call, face-to-face.
If she is emailing you, she’s from the stone age. If she’s just beginning to connect with you over Facebook, she is testing the waters to see how you respond to her. If she is texting you, she is trying to stay in the loop of your life and up to date with you and your activities, checking in. A phone call suggests that she is pretty confident that she wants you back and misses you. If she initiates a face-to-face meeting, then she definitely misses you.
If She Isn’t Seeing Anyone (Seriously):
This one is a little tricky to understand. If your ex isn’t seriously, actively dating anyone, it could mean that she isn’t over you and/or she just is enjoying her single life—as a time to herself to figure out what she wants.
But if she isn’t seriously dating anyone else, and you see her exhibit any of these other signals, then I’d suggest she misses you and is considering starting things up again.
If She Acts Jealous, Mean or Angry:
If she is jealous, angry or mean, or just harboring some bad mojo after the breakup, it means she’s not over it, and you still have a shot! It means she still cares.
If she catches wind of you going out on dates with people or even sees you on Tinder, it might spark some jealousy in her. And it will annoy her that you could even consider moving on from her that quickly, regardless of how long ago you broke up. Breakups sometimes make everyone act in irrational ways. Women aren’t an exception.
If you are out partying or trying new activities, since you and your ex broke up, she could also be feeling jealous and regretting the break up.
So keep an eye out for these emotions. At first, it might seem weird that she is expressing these negative emotions, when, actually, it’s a very good sign for you because it means she still cares.
If She Tries to Hook up With You:
Friends with benefits is tricky, or backsliding, as some people call it, can be irresistible sometimes. But if she is initiating a hook up, it is a good sign that she still wants you. But I caution you against being just friends with benefits, especially after you had a full-on relationship. It can get confusing very quickly, especially when feelings are involved.
So make sure you are looking out for yourself here. And don’t just give in because your body tells you to, because she maybe just physically using you with no desire of actually getting back together with you.
If She’s Trying to Change:
Another way to tell if your ex-girlfriend wants you back is if she is trying to better herself. If she is trying to improve herself in areas that could have contributed to the break up, that is a sign that she is taking responsibility for her role in your relationships demise and is trying to change.
This one is a huge one to look out for because it not only takes a lot of courage for someone to admit their wrongdoings but also to actively try to change is courageous. This step goes particularly well if she is contacting you. Both of these together are a very good indication that she is trying to make amends and wants you back.
If Her Friends Are Reaching Out to You:
A sneaky way to tell if your ex wants to give things another shot, or that she is considering it, is if she sends her friends to spy on you. I’m not talking about her friends dressing in camouflage and using walkie-talkies. No, this is disguised as her friends showing up to places you go to with your friends.
It is also exhibited through her friends or mutual friends reaching out for strange reasons and subtly trying to figure out if you’re dating anyone.
Your ex has sent out her best private investigators, her friends. This reconnaissance mission is for her to figure out if she still has a chance before she even puts herself out there.
If you are seeing someone, it will make her jealous, which isn’t bad in this sense, and if you aren’t, it will give her more confidence to re-approach you.
Why She Won’t Just Tell You:
There are some reasons why she won’t be straight with you and come right out and tell you that she wants to get back together. Some of those reasons are as follows:
She fears rejection.
The negative aspects of your relationship are at the forefront of her mind.
Her friends and family’s opinions are influencing her choice.
Her mixed messages are a clear indication that she, too, is confused about her true feelings.
There are a lot of signs that your ex wants to get back together with you, because, well, everyone is different, and expresses themselves in different ways. These are just the most common signals I’ve come to notice throughout my years of work in this field. And I hope they give you the clarity and guidance you need in order to navigate if you want to get back together with your ex.