Can you use jealousy to make your ex give you a second chance?
Or will trying to incite jealousy just make matters even worse?
Well the truth is more complicated because there’s a right way and a wrong way to make an ex jealous.
Will Making Your Ex Jealous Make Them Come Back?
Now, let’s get right into the question at hand: does jealousy make an ex want to get back together? Well, the answer to that question is YES… but it comes with a serious disclaimer. Let me explain.
YES, if you can make your ex jealous in the first couple of months after breaking up, this will almost always improve your chances of getting them back. I’ll explain more about HOW to incite a bit of jealousy in your ex , but first I want to give you a very important warning.
While jealousy DOES work extremely well when you use it properly, it has a big chance of backfiring on you if you’re not very careful and strategic about it.
If you don’t handle things properly, and your ex finds out that you’re actively TRYING to make them jealous, it’s going to actually do the opposite — it’s going to push them further away and actually do some serious damage to your odds of getting them back.
That’s why I call this strategy Covert Jealousy in my Ex Factor program. Yes, it’s about making your ex a bit jealous, but the key is to do this CAREFULLY and only when you’ve properly set the stage and come up with a plan.
If you just whip out your phone and announce to your ex in a text message that you’re dating someone new, that’s NOT going to be an effective strategy…. It’s usually just going to make your ex angry and make you look like a petty, sleazy person in general.
Now, some of you are probably thinking… “Well Brad, I already know how to make my ex jealous… I’ll just show up next weekend at a party I know my ex will be attending, and bring along a date.” But that’s not really the best way to use my Covert Jealousy technique, and in fact it’s not the only type of jealousy that you can use to help get back together.
So, without further ado, let me give you some tips on how to safely and effectively use jealousy to help change your ex’s mind about breaking up…
Tip #1: Always be EXTREMELY SUBTLE with your attempts to incite jealousy.
This is why I call it “COVERT” jealousy… because the only way this strategy is going to actually work is if your ex doesn’t realize that you’re doing it intentionally. It simply won’t ever be effective if your ex knows that you’re actively trying to make them jealous, so you have to be very cautious and ensure that you’re subtle enough to avoid setting off your ex’s alarm bells and letting them see your underlying motives.
Tip #2: Start by employing a period of No Contact.
I’m not going to bore you to death by explaining the benefits of No Contact again…. If you want to know why No Contact is such an effective strategy for getting an ex back, watch some of my other past videos on that topic.
Just know that it’s important to employ a period of No Contact before you start thinking about trying to make your ex jealous. Yes, there are some things you can do during No Contact to start inciting some jealousy, but generally speaking you can’t expect jealousy to be particularly effective unless it’s preceded by a period of No Contact.
So please, if you haven’t yet started to shut down the lines of communication with your ex, do that first before you begin applying any of my other tips.
Also remember that No Contact, in itself, is actually going to help make your ex jealous. They won’t realize it consciously, but the simple fact you’re not around anymore is going to make your ex jealous of whomever you ARE spending your time with.
They had become accustomed to you being a big part of their life, and by applying No Contact, you’re essentially ‘shocking’ your ex into learning what life is like without you… so, your ex is almost certain to feel jealous of anyone who you choose to spend your time with during No Contact, even if they don’t actually realize it.
Tip #3: Get out there and start living an exciting, productive life.
This is something that a lot of people tend to overlook when it comes to making your ex jealous, but it is really an important part of inciting jealousy.
Your ex isn’t expecting you to really thrive in the weeks and months immediately after breaking up… in fact, they’re expecting you to lie around the house feeling sorry for yourself. That’s why you need to do the exact opposite, and get out there and live life to the fullest.
What does this mean in practical terms? It means going out and being as social as possible. It means making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, and joining a club or taking up a new hobby. It means going to the gym and getting fit. It means kicking ass at work or at school, achieving your goals and really thriving.
All of these things are going to make your ex feel a sense of “FOMO” — Fear of Missing Out — and make them jealous that you’re moving on so quickly and living such an interesting, exciting and productive life without them. I know it sounds a bit abstract, but I promise that simply being social and occupying your time with new and fun things is, by itself, going to incite a bit of jealousy in the back of your ex’s mind.
Tip #4: Go on dates or hang out with members of the opposite sex.
This is the most obvious way you can make your ex jealous, and probably one you already know about. And, like I said earlier, it’s only a part of my Covert Jealousy strategy… but it is a very effective way to incite jealousy, at least if you do it properly.
Now, I realize that you probably don’t really feel like going on a date with someone new right now, because you’re focused on getting back together with your ex… but you need to put yourself out there and start dating again as soon as humanly possible, regardless of whether you actually think it’s going to lead anywhere in the long-term.
At the very least, even if it doesn’t create the kind of jealousy you’re hoping for… even if it doesn’t end up working to get your ex to come back… it WILL help you get over your ex in the long run, and keep your mind off things in the short term.
So, create a Tinder profile… put yourself out there on dating sites… pick up a new hobby where you’re likely to meet new people of the opposite sex… doesn’t really matter how you go about this, just go on a coupe of dates and have a good time.
Again, it’s not important whether you really feel a connection with whomever you’re seeing. It’s just going out with someone of the opposite sex that really matters, and you don’t need to have any intention of taking this person on a second date. In fact, you can even just hang out with friends of the opposite sex, and that can have the same effect on your ex.
The more you date, the more your ex will think, “Hey, I used to date this really high-quality person. Why on Earth did I dump him/her?” So really, go out on as many dates as you can.
I’m not saying you should sleep with anyone who’s willing to… in fact you don’t need to sleep with anyone at all in order to effectively make your ex jealous. But you do want to make it known that you are highly sought after and that members of the opposite sex want you. In the dating world, this is what’s typically called pre-selection.
Being wanted by members of the opposite sex is actually a desirable trait that will make your ex doubt their decision to let you walk away… so, the more you can mingle, flirt, and go on dates, the better.
Tip #5: Communicate your fun, exciting social life to your ex.
Going on dates, making new friends, and being socially active is all helpful on its own… but in order to truly maximize its impact on your ex, you want to let them know — SUBTLY — that you’re doing all of this stuff, and that you’re really thriving since the breakup. There’s 3 ways you can communicate this to your ex in a way that won’t make them suspect you’re doing it specifically to make them jealous:
First, you can use social media to your advantage. post pictures of you doing really fun things that your ex wouldn’t expect you to be doing. You could post pictures like you snowboarding, bungie jumping, or playing the guitar.
Remember to take some pictures of whatever fun social stuff you’re doing… show your ex you’re popular and that you have a bustling social life.
And just like I mentioned earlier, take pictures of yourself with really attractive members of the opposite sex to show that you’re high value. Do everything you can to convey to the world that you love life and that you’re happy.
It’s likely that your ex is going to be actively creeping your social media, but even if your ex has blocked you on Instagram and Facebook, the news will likely get back to them eventually when other people see your posts.
Secondly, you can use mutual friends to pass along the news to your ex. Be careful not to be too obvious here, but basically all you need to do is meet up with a mutual friend who is likely to talk to your ex in the near future… and when you’re talking to that mutual friend, talk about your recent adventures, your successes, or the new friends you’ve made since the breakup.
Share a story that showcases how interesting and busy your life has been since breaking up. Odds are that this mutual friend will pass the news along to your ex next time they talk, and it won’t seem like you’re TRYING to make them jealous.
Finally — and this is actually maybe the easiest and most effective way to communicate things to your ex — drop some subtle hints and create a bit of mystery next time you talk to your ex.
By casually dropping a seemingly innate reference to a new “friend” you’re hanging out with, without giving much detail or further explanation, you can make your ex really wonder what you’ve been up to and what they’re missing out on.
One of my favorite examples of this is something you can do over text message… so, for example, let’s say you left your favourite shirt at your ex’s house and need to pick it up from them. When you arrange to pick it up from their house in a text message, you might say something like this in your text…
“Hey, I’m taking a friend to the new Bond movie tonight at that theatre by your house… could I drop by to pick up my purple shirt on the way?”
You can also achieve the same effect if you’re meeting your ex and chatting with them in person. One way to do that would be to tell an interesting or funny story about something you’ve done since breaking up, and drop a reference to a “new friend” during the story. For example, you could say…
“I went to a kickboxing class with my friend Sarah last week, and WOW, it’s such a good workout! Now I know what you meant about your karate classes being so tiring…”
Don’t go into any more detail about who “Sarah” is or what your relationship with her is… just drop that reference in a natural way during the course of your conversation, and leave it at that. When you do this effectively, you’ll leave your ex wondering to themselves WHO this new person is and whether you’re dating or just friends.
Regardless of the truth, they’re going to assume the worst, and their mind will be going crazy with curiosity.
Tip #6: Remember to be SUBTLE and NEVER reveal your true intentions to your ex.
This is something I already mentioned earlier, but I’m including it as the final tip here because it’s absolutely critical. NOTHING that I’ve talked about is going to help you get your ex back if they recognize that you’re doing it in order to try and make them jealous.
That’s why you always need to be extremely careful to keep things subtle, appear natural, and never be too overt or obvious with whatever tactic you’re using to incite jealousy.
So I guess I can really sum up what we’ve talked about in one sentence: YES, jealousy can be a very effective tool to help change your ex’s mind about breaking up, and make them want to get back together with you…. But ONLY if you do it covertly, without them realizing that you’re doing it.