Even though my Ex Factor Guide program has been enormously successful in helping couples re-unite, I never said that the road to a happy relationship was easy.
Often times, there are contingencies and obstacles that can make things difficult. (Not to mention that dealing with your personal emotions can be an entire war in itself.)
In this article, I’ll describe the most common problems that people face when trying to an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back (and what you do right now to overcome each obstacle).
1.) “My ex is seeing someone else…”
One of the most common problems is that your ex may be dating someone else. Often times, these scenarios can be difficult to deal with emotionally. However, there is light at the end of this tunnel.
More times than not, your ex is just in an “RR” – a Rebound Relationship.
What is an RR? Well, breakups are never easy for anyone…even if you were the one that initiated the breakup. People cope in different ways. And a lot of the time, one of the best ways to cope with heartache is to engage in an intimate relationship as soon as a breakup occurs.
Usually, there isn’t too much thought that goes into a Rebound Relationship. Because of this, they’re often short and meaningless.
If your ex is in an RR, don’t worry about it. Chances are, it will be a short fling that won’t mean anything. The best thing to do in this scenario is steer clear until they hit a rough patch in their relationship.
Be careful that you don’t try and talk to them and convince them to come back to you at this point. This will only solidify their resolve for leaving you. You need to let this RR organically dissipate and only then will you be able to engage in contact with your ex again.
2.) “I still see my ex all the time…”
This isn’t so much of an obstacle as so much an annoyance. Yes, in my program, I do tell my clients about the “No Contact” rule, but this rule is difficult to employ if you’re constantly in contact with your ex.
The thing is, most of my clients have no idea that this is actually a good thing. By seeing your ex all the time, you’re able to convey to him or her that you’re over the breakup and that you’ve moved on. If you’ve been following my advice columns all over the internet, you will know that conveying this to your ex is imperative if you want to actually get them to start chasing you.
So instead of crying, begging, and pleading every time you see your ex, act like you’re happy and that you’ve moved on. Seeing your ex gives you the chance to showcase this.
3.) “My ex lives in another city…”
I’m not going to sugarcoat it – if your ex boyfriend or girlfriend lives in another city, then the chances of you getting him or her back decrease dramatically. After all, building enough attraction to the point that they want to be with you again can be difficult enough in person, but building attraction over distance is even more difficult.
Why does distance make things tricky? Well, simply put, building a romantic and sexual bond with someone requires in-person contact. You can only do so much via Skype or Facebook.
However, there are advantages to being far away from your ex. First, you won’t be tempted to try and visit your ex and make a huge mistake. You’ll also be less likely to have an awkward encounter with him or her.
I also don’t mean to imply that getting your ex back at this point is impossible – I’ve helped hundreds of couples re-unite over long distances, but just know that it will be an uphill climb and you really need to have a solid plan. If you’d like my help developing a plan to get your ex back, please visit my personal coaching page and I’ll talk with you in depth about your situation.
4.) “My ex won’t talk to me at all!”
After a breakup, your ex might be intentionally ignoring you or blocking you from their life. This is normal. It isn’t meant to be a negative or mean gesture, but sometimes the best way to get over someone is to just remove him or her from your life completely. This is likely what they’re trying to do right now.
I know it may be hurtful for you to think about, but if your ex doesn’t want to talk to you, then there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. No amount of harassment is going to make your ex open up to you and make them love you again. What you need to do is mirror what they’re doing by ignoring them as well.
You need to allow time to pass before you try and reach out to your ex again. Usually, I recommend approximately 30-50 days before contacting your ex again, but in many cases, you need to be waiting much longer. Again, if you’re not certain how to proceed and when to contact your ex again, you can sign up for my coaching service and I’ll offer some guidance based on the particular scenario you’re facing.
Speaking of answers, I’ve included hundreds of them in my program, The Ex Factor Guide. It’s a comprehensive system designed to help anyone get the love of their life back in their arms. It covers every ‘what if’ situation imaginable, and it’s already helped thousands of men and women get a second chance at love.