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What To Say To Your Ex To Win Them Back

So you want your ex back.

But you’re struggling to convince them to give you another chance.

Or maybe you just have no idea how to reach out.

On this page, I’m going to tell you exactly what to say to your ex to win them back.

It’s simple, it’s to the point, and you don’t need to agonize over using the right words or worry about scaring them off.

Are you ready for the one thing you need to say to your ex to win them back?

Just simply say the following to your ex….


I’m serious! You shouldn’t be saying anything to your ex at all if you want them back.

Read on to learn more…

What To Say To Win Your Ex Back

You came here looking to find out what to say to your ex to win them back but I promise that saying pretty much anything to your ex right now will actually do more harm than good.

This is one of the single biggest mistakes that people make when trying to win back their ex. In fact, some of my coaching clients still make this mistake, even after they’ve read my Ex Factor program and heard me tell them it’s a bad idea.

They’ll think that they know better, and that they can apologize or beg or sweet talk their way back into their ex’s arms.woman with fingers to lips

I know this goes against all common sense — I mean, how can you possibly get back together with your ex if you’re not even talking to them — but I promise that it is 100% for sure the best thing you can do after a breakup.

Even if you think you know what to say to your ex, trust me when I tell you, you don’t.

Don’t try to convince your ex to take you back.

It’s not going to work, and in fact it’s only going to make you look like a pathetic loser… and why on earth would your ex want to jump back into a relationship with someone like that?

How To Deal With Your Ex

If you’ve just recently broken up with your ex — as in, within the last couple of weeks — then now is a perfect time to cut off communication with your ex. This is known as The No Contact Phase.

Anyway, don’t stress if you’ve already done some begging and pleading with your ex since the breakup… it’s not necessarily a lost cause, especially if you begin the No Contact period immediately.

girl sitting on the ground reaching for her spouse who is walking away

What you need to do now is just stop initiating any conversations or communication with your ex.

Only reply to their messages if not doing so will make them angry or upset.

For example, if your ex sends you a message on Facebook asking how you’re doing or what your plans are for the weekend, you can just ignore the message.

Similarly, if your ex calls and leaves a voicemail wishing you a happy birthday, don’t call back.

If you do end up talking to your ex during the 30 day period of no communication, your goal should be to stay friendly and upbeat while looking for the first possible opportunity to end the conversation politely.

Say, for instance, you run into your ex at the mall and he or she starts chatting you up… smile, say hello, make 30 seconds of small talk.

Then simply say “hey sorry to cut this short but I have to go, some friends are waiting for me, let’s catch up another time ok?” and hustle off like you’ve got more important things to do.

Remember: during this period of time, you don’t want to talk to your ex at all.

The less contact you have, the better. I cover this in more detail in my Ex Factor Program but the simple explanation is that your ex will find it much harder to cope with the breakup if you completely vanish from his or her life than if you continue to talk regularly and give them time to slowly adjust to the single life.

It’s going to make your ex miss you, wonder what’s going on with you, and quickly forget the negative aspects of your old relationship that led to the breakup.

You’re forcing your ex to learn what life is like without you, making sure they miss talking to you and being with you, and helping them aspects of your relationship they didn’t enjoy.woman looking at clock waiting

If your ex seems cold, distant, or doesn’t respond when you call or text them… oftentimes, you can cut off all communication for a week or two, and all of sudden they’re texting daily and calling to see how you’re doing.

Your ex will be chasing you instead of the other way around.

Now, at this point, you’ve probably got 2 questions on your mind.

What if I HAVE to Communicate With My Ex?

First, you’re wondering how to handle a situation where you have to communicate with your ex… maybe it’s because you still live together, some of your belongings are at your ex’s house, you work at the same office, or something along those lines.

These ‘what if’ scenarios are something I cover extensively in my Ex Factor Guide so please consider grabbing a copy of my program if you’ve got lots of those “what if” questions.

What Should I Do After No Contact is Over?

The second question you may be wondering is what to do after the 30 day period of no contact is over. Usually your ex will be contacting you by that point, but you still need to know what to say and do to start re-building your connection and moving towards eventually getting back together with your ex.

What if your ex hasn’t reached out to you during the 30 days?

How do you try to kick-start the communication and make him or her interested in you again?

couples attractionThis is where it gets more complicated. I recommend watching the video on my website, which goes into more depth about my 3-step system for winning your ex back.

Just one word of warning… Once your 30 days of No Contact ends, it’s not suddenly time to go back to begging or pleading or asking your ex “hey what’s up” or anything boring like that.

Think of the No Contact phase as wiping the slate clean… now, after several weeks not hearing from you, your ex is missing you like crazy and they’ll started to forget the reasons why they wanted to break up.

Now is the time to show them the new and improved version of you.

Go back to being the person that your ex first fell in love with.

Be fun, be interesting, and be confident. At first, don’t talk at all about your relationship, breakup, or anything serious or dramatic.

That kind of discussion is toxic and will undo all the progress you made in the 30 day No Contact period.