In this article, I’m going to share 9 ways to get your spouse to recommit to your marriage.
This advice is for anyone who feels like their spouse is drifting away.
You can save your marriage and make your spouse commit fully to you and only you.
Prevent divorce with these nine methods.
9 Ways To Get Your Spouse To Recommit To Your Marriage
Creating a happy marriage is a skill that most of us weren’t taught, which is why it’s completely normal to hit a bump in the road from time to time.
On a regular basis I work with married couples who are working on making a brighter future together, and believe me when I say that as long as your spouse is still there, it’s completely possible to get them to recommit.
1. Control Your Emotions
When you realize that your spouse isn’t fully committed to your marriage it’s important that you keep your emotions in check.
It’s completely normal to be upset about the situation, but blowing up or pleading them to recommit to your marriage will push your spouse further away.
Instead, learn to control your emotions so that they don’t see the negative emotions you may be feeling. Doing so can make or break your chances of winning your spouse over.
2. Become the Best Version of You
This may sound a bit odd considering your spouse is the one who needs to recommit, but if you want them to give your marriage another chance then you need to change.
This doesn’t mean you need to completely change who you are, but rather change your behaviors that are negatively affecting your marriage.
For example, if you can’t stop arguing with your spouse even when things are going well, then that is a behavior that you need to change. Once you show your spouse that you are willing to work on and improve yourself they will re-engage with you and be more open to giving your marriage another chance.
3. Listen to Your Spouse
Many marriages fail because one partner feels that they aren’t being heard, so get your spouse to give your marriage another chance by actively listening to him or her. Your spouse needs to feel that you value their opinions and beliefs, and that they can talk to you about anything.
Even when your spouse says something that’s hard to hear like “I need space” or “You have a temper” it’s important that you demonstrate that you’re listening. Take a second before responding.
Start by making eye contact while they speak and then paraphrase what they just said.
These simple steps will make your spouse feel loved and respected, which will go a long way in convincing them to give your marriage another chance.
4. Pay Attention to Your Spouse
All people need love and attention, and this is especially true in marriages.
Make your spouse feel attractive, loved, and needed, and show them regularly how much you appreciate and want them in your life.
A great way to do so is by complimenting them, or making time for them even if it means rearranging your own schedule.
For instance, you could wake up earlier than normal to have breakfast together, or spend a few extra minutes before bed talking with them about their thoughts.
Your spouse needs to know that you desire them, so pay attention to them.
RELATED: Does Marriage Counselling Work?
5. Romance Your Spouse
Romancing your spouse can do wonders for your marriage, and it’s one of the best ways to help your spouse recommit. To get you started, think back to the days when you and your spouse first met and fell in love.
Remember the beginning when you talked together, laughed together, left each other sweet notes and held hands everywhere you went?
Getting in this mindset can help with your romantic side. Next, bring those romantic gestures back into your marriage. Make plans to go out dancing Saturday night, rent your favourite movies, or wine and dine together.
Whatever you choose to do, make it something that will reigniting the spark between you and remind your spouse why they fell in love with you in the first place.
6. Surprise Your Spouse
Similar to romancing your spouse, you can also show them how much they mean to you by surprising them.
You know best how to make your spouse smile, but here’s some inspiration:
- Write them a letter or even a simple card expressing your feelings
- Call them out-of-the-blue to tell them you miss them
- Have a bath drawn when they get home
When these type of surprises return to your marriage your spouse will see the effort you’re making and how your relationship is improving.
Surprising your spouse will encourage them to give your marriage another chance.
7. Get Professional Help
When marriages get rocky it’s not uncommon for friends or relatives to suggest that you and your spouse see a counsellor.
For some couples professional help can work wonders, but others may not feel comfortable.
Since your spouse isn’t completely committed to the marriage right now, this could be an option you’d like to explore.
If you’re worried that even asking your spouse to go to counselling with you will only push them further away, then you may want to go a different route. Consider my Mend the Marriage program. This is something that you will be able to do one your own, and you can get started right away. Watch the free video now to find out more.
8. Be Patient
Even though you may want to see your spouse come running back with open arms, the reality is that reconciling a marriage can be a lengthy process.
It takes time to work through issues that caused the distance between the two of you, and even more time to feel ready to fully reconnect.
There will be days when you feel like you’re making progress, and days you feel defeated. The best thing you can do in this situation is to be patient and commit yourself to making the marriage work.
9. Tell Your Spouse You Love Them
Lastly, tell your spouse how much you love them every single day.
Tell them in the morning when you wake up, throughout the day and at night before bed.
Just be mindful and read the situation before spilling your heart out.
If your spouse is feeling smothered or overwhelmed by your affection, then know when to back off. The end goal is for your spouse to understand how much they mean to you and to remind them that you are willing to fight for that love.